A Good Day to Die Hard Review by Dio Rochino

     

       Have you ever wanted to like a film so desperately that you attempted to make excuses to rectify it’s problems?  Only to come to the actualization that it truly was that bad?  For some movies, realizing this can take a while.  When The Phantom Menace was released, reasons were provided for an entire year as I half heartedly quoted The Power of Myth to defend George Lucas’ vision before finally recognizing that there was barely any direction in that film at all.  Also, I spent time trying to figure out how Indiana Jones survived an atomic blast by hiding in a refrigerator and tried to logically assess the half assed explanation of aliens being the keepers of knowledge in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.  This was one of those films I wanted to admire so greatly that I attempted to clarify all the problems it displayed.  But it just got too much and three quarters of the way through, I couldn’t take it anymore.  A Good Day to Die Hard was one of the most lifeless spectacles I’ve ever seen.

      This time, McClane travels to Russia after learning that his estranged son Jack has been imprisoned for performing an assassination.  Jack then bargains with the authorities by explaining that he has knowledge that can convict a prisoner named Komarov.  A political whistleblower who possesses information that can bring down a powerful corrupt politician named Chagarin.  Upon arriving at the courthouse where Jack is testifying against Komarov, McClane is surprised to see the place get leveled in an explosion with Chagarin’s henchmen storming the place trying to kill Komarov.  He then catches up with Jack and Komarov attempting to escape and is surprised to learn that his son is actually a well trained CIA agent assigned to transport Komarov to the United States.  This silly, lazy set up occurs within the first fifteen minutes.  After this, It turns into an extremely loud, explosive bore fest.

      I can’t comment on the plot because there hardly isn’t any.  The dialogue however small, was delivered with no effort in a script packed with pointless one liners.  In fact, they have McClane say the same damn line over and over and over again.  It was marginally funny at first but then it became awkward.  Don't get me wrong. In between the barrage of gunfights the director tried to put in tender moments between McClane and his son to show family dynamic, but it seemed really forced.  Also, with no prior mention of their relationship it seems they were trying to build up a narrative that never existed in the first place.  Couple this with a villian who has no personality and you have the most senseless performances ever created.

      Clocking in at 97 minutes it is the shortest movie in the franchise which doesn't lend much to any type of development.  Especially for McClane's son who the audience is supposed to care about. Instead were treated to a fantastic fireworks show whose sole purpose evidently is to sell Mercedes Benzes.  A lot of films are product endorsed but directors find ways to cleverly blend them into the scene.  But I guess everyone in Russia drives a Mercedes. Here, It was the most blatant approach to commercialism I've ever seen. McClane gets dropped off at the airport by his daughter who happens to be driving a Mercedes.  All the bad guys have a Mercedes. When they rig cars on the street for an explosion, the only ones that blow up are Mercedes and when the McClanes need a getaway car they happen to steal a Mercedes.  The Mercedes symbol share most of the shots in the film. Even the military vehicles proudly sport the Mercedes logo on the front grill and the camera has no problem providing close-ups of it.

      Its official. The Die Hard franchise has gone the way of the Crystal Skull.  The R rating is back in, but all the profanity and violence couldn’t make this movie better.  With minimal feeble dialogue and one liners that don’t make a lick of sense, this made the previous movie look like a masterpiece.  The fourth entry strayed a lot but at least the story was comprehensively well put together which is the only thing I ask for when viewing a film.  I don’t expect a lot.  I just want it to make sense.  Even if a movie does a good job of explaining the most poorly contrived story, I’ll accept it. I just need a reason to invest in the concept and with a franchise like Die Hard that had so much developed previously, it’s heartbreaking to see that they couldn’t create something worthwhile.  It would be a shame if this is the last film in the series, because it deserves to go out on a better note.  But I might have to accept that it’s another fond memory that has been ruined along with Indiana Jones and Star Wars.

Five Unconventional Romance Films by Dio Rochino

      It’s after Valentine’s Day and while sauntering to the couch and reveling in post chocolate hangovers, I quickly glance at the collection for a series of perfect romantic movie chasers.  Amidst all the titles, I’ve noticed that a majority of them are formulaic, puppy dog, overdone love films and while these are entertaining, there’s only so many times I can watch Love Actually or a clone of it featuring a holiday for a title.  So I scrounged around bypassing pictures like Titanic and My Best Friends Wedding to pull out five unconventional romantic movies for a post Valentine’s Day marathon.  

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

      One of the few romance movies in my opinion that gets it right, it’s a far cry from the mushy, sentimental, honey moon phase pictures that dominate the genre.  Instead, we get to see a love story in reverse as artist Joel Barrish, fresh out of a tumultuous relationship with free spirited Clementine, decides to get the memories of her erased with a procedure.  With most of the movie taking place in his mind as he relives each recollection, we get to see how the relationship ended badly connecting with his choice for the extraction process.  This adds a bit of bittersweet irony as he begins to remember the great memories.  The movie then takes a drastic turn as he psychologically battles against the procedure to try to hold on to at least one of those moments, witnessing the agony he goes through as each of them is deleted one at a time.

High Fidelity

      A rare romantic movie that’s narrated from the male perspective, it’s an adaptation of the equally informative novel from Nick Hornby.  Rob, the owner of a barely in business record store reflects on both his present and past courtships using pop music as an allegory.  His perspective on romance which is both truthful and unflinching have caused upon multiple viewings, my male friends to agree and my female friends to be curious.  It’s commentary on amorous affections is altogether sweet, crude and often times insensitive but it’s honest and is a good example of the logic that can drive the male’s mentality during various stages of relationship maturity.

When Harry Met Sally

      A film that hilariously attempts to answer the age old question. Can men and women truly ever be friends or do feelings get in the way?  One of the best screenplays from the late Nora Ephron, the story revolves around Sally Albright and Harry Burns.  Two people who can’t stand each other when they first meet but over the years, end up creating a wonderful friendship.  Although they have completely different personalities, they’ve learned to appreciate each other and as their loyalty to one another strengthens, so do their individual perspectives on everything.  Among these include assessments on Casablanca and whether men really know if women are faking orgasms.  Over time, their adoration for one another grows as they support each other through bad relationships, divorces, blind dates and work.  But when affectionate feelings slowly come into play, the film definitely brings a roundabout answer to whether or not it’s right to be romantically involved with your best friend.

L.A. Story

      Silly, crazy, heartfelt and undeniably written by Steve Martin comes a love story set in the magical land of L.A.  Martin stars as wacky weatherman Harry Telemacher who unbeknownst to him, is on the road to happiness thanks to the advice of a wise old electronic freeway condition sign.  Confusing?  Believe me, it all comes together.  An endearing romantic film that explores love among the subcultures and unique happenings of Los Angeles, there are definitely a lot of inside jokes that will make the people who live here relate and the ones that don’t laugh in disbelief.  Among them include earthquakes, ordering coffee, springtime shootings on the freeway, the San Fernando Valley and the importance of celebrity status when dining at a restaurant.

Before Sunrise / Before Sunset

      A film series that redefines the term epic romance, it’s very much philosophical as it is affectionate.  Both films center on one love story as we follow a couple through two different times in their lives.  The first film begins as they both meet unexpectedly on a train in Europe.  Deciding to step off together on a whim, Jesse, an American tourist and Celine, a Parisian student traveling home, share a wonderful romantic night together in Vienna before they have to go their own separate ways in the morning.  The second movie occurs as they fortuitously meet again in Paris nine years later.  They spend a day reminiscing about their quick time together as they determine whether it would’ve been the right thing to continue or let the one night remain as a perfect memory.

      The great thing about these films is that they were shot in actual time and genuinely reflect how love is viewed through the comprehension of the character’s ages.  The first examining how romance is seen through the eyes of two young people in their early twenties as they have their future to look forward to.  A little bit innocent and a little bit naive, it is perfectly complimented by the following picture which was actually filmed nine years later focusing on the characters in their thirties.  By this time, they’ve lived a little, they’ve been hurt and they’re a little more cautious.  It’s a great series to dive into, especially before the third installment gets released later this year.  This time reflecting on Jesse and Celine as they’re in their forties, Before Midnight again opens exactly nine years since the release of the last film.

      There are a lot of films in my collection that I wanted to add to the marathon.  Serendipity and Somewhere in Time are amongst them.  But I definitely didn’t have time to watch more so I will have to save them for a later date.  However, If anybody has any recommendations they want to share or would like to remark on the list above, please leave some in the comments below.  I would love to hear your opinions. Also, I’m always looking for new films to watch and reminders for one’s that I haven’t seen in a while.

Dissecting Die Hard by Dio Rochino

      As Ben Stiller once said in a Die Hard parody featured on his 90’s sketch comedy show, “How can the same thing happen to the same guy so many times?”.  If he only knew then how true those words would be.  It’s been 25 years since the debut of John McClane with his anti-terrorism ass kicking skills and as the fifth film debuts on Valentine’s Day, the wrong guy at the wrong place at the wrong time has to either be destined to do this or is just pretty damn unlucky.  Either way, what culminated is two and a half decades of awesome action that continues to entertain greatly.  Yes, I’m even counting the fourth one.  If this continues, I’m sure that Die Hard 12:  Die Hungry will surely be an inevitability but until that time, here is a personal ranking of the movies from worst to best.

Live Free or Die Hard

      Easily not the best in the series but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t entertaining.  It was the first Die Hard to try to reach a new audience by cutting out the profanity, making the kills cleaner and trimming down the rating to PG-13.  Also, they got fresh Hollywood talent to give the movie an edge to younger audiences by casting Justin Long and Mary Elizabeth Winstead in the supporting roles.  

      The film takes place on 4th of July as a former Department of Defense worker, along with his associates attempt to break into the main defense grid of the United States taking the country hostage.  They do this for financial gain as well as to prove a point that the U.S. has a virtual Death Star like imperfection that leaves it open for attack.  It’s up to McClane and his hacker sidekick to stop them.  But things get personal when the villain kidnaps his daughter.

      The fourth installment seems like the makers never seen the previous Die Hard films.  Still worthwhile, but it falls short for two reasons.  The first is it’s lack of a sure fire villain.  Timothy Olyphant in an underwhelming performance shows a certain control when things are going his way, but immediately goes into these subtle temper tantrums as his plans slowly get derailed.  Former villains in the series have kept their cool and counteracted.  Therefore, McClane gets involved in a personal battle of wits as they both try to outplay each other.  But it never felt that way in Live Free or Die Hard since it always seemed like McClane was in control of the situation the whole time.  Which leads to the next problem.  Before this, the films have been about an ordinary guy trying to survive in extraordinary circumstances and never knowing how to deal with them directly, he improvises.  He questions himself before taking action.  In this installment, McClane has a new swagger of confidence as he handles every threat with expertise.  Never showing doubt, he knows what he has to do.  This new found assurance can be attributed to the fact that McClane has been in these type of positions too many times so he’s gotten skillful in dealing with them.  But in my opinion, this takes away from the very point of seeing a Die Hard movie.  To see McClane handle these events by the seat of his pants.  Also in the first two Die Hard films, there’s a certain aspect of realism with the action which lends to believability that McClane is human.  This made you root for him because you know that something bad might happen.  Here, you get to see him do a lot of questionable stuff which even though it looked spectacular, made me scratch my head a bit.  Among those include hopping out of a taxi that’s going fast enough to jump a ramp with enough leverage to hit a hovering chopper and vaulting off an exploding jet only to survive unscathed by hitting the highway pavement underneath with a tuck and roll.

Die Hard 2:  Die Harder

      There was a time when Renny Harlin was the go to guy for action films.  When hits like Cliffhanger and A Long Kiss Goodnight paved the way for a prominent career before Cutthroat Island.  Die Harder was definitely one of his better pictures.

      Knowing this was going to be more grandiose because they added an -er to the title, this movie definitely steps it up a notch.  It has more gunfights, explosions and one liners.  However, the plot was basically a direct copy of the original.  McClane is thrown unexpectedly into another occurrence when he arrives at Dulles International Airport.  This time, former Army Special Forces Colonel Stuart along with other defecting soldiers, take the place hostage by hijacking their flight controls.  With every plane in the surrounding airspace at the whim of a madman, he maintains that if his requests aren’t met he will begin crashing planes.  Which happens to be access to a runway and a getaway plane to safely ferry a notorious cocaine smuggling General out of the country.  But things get personal because one of the passengers circling overhead is McClane’s wife.

      The same premise but in a different location, McClane, once again fights terrorists while local law enforcement gives him grief for not being in his jurisdiction.  It also brings back some major characters from the previous film including his wife, the dick reporter who screws anyone over to get a story and a cameo of Sgt. Powell with his twinkies.  The people that didn’t return are replaced by similar characters including another egotistical, know it all cop that gets in the way of McClane’s progress.  Also the villain, played this time by William Sadler, is just as ruthless even though he lacks the humor of Alan Rickman.  However, it was pretty hilarious when they introduce his machismo persona by having him perform martial arts forms nude inside a hotel room.  

      Despite the fact that this sequel is redoing a tried and true formula with predictable twists, the director does a great job of still making it look believable by having McClane take a beating and his injuries slowing him down.  It shows to a degree that in this installment, he is still human. Even when the action pieces are insanely over the top which have become a staple for Renny Harlin films.  Among those sequences include McClane ejecting out of an exploding aircraft parachuting safely to the ground and a great chase scene on snowmobiles.  At least the director didn’t have someone inexplicably eaten by a genetically enhanced super shark.  He saved that gem for a later movie.

Die Hard with a Vengeance

      How do you revive a franchise whose formula has been so overused that it’s become a parody within itself?  By taking another known method and incorporating it into your own.  At this point in time there have been countless Die Hard knock offs.  Under Siege and Sudden Death come to mind, which is why original director John McTiernan jumps on board again to bring some much needed vitality to the franchise.  Disregarding the formula set up by the last two films, the director decided to make this episode a dysfunctional buddy film by casting Samuel L. Jackson as the other lead.  This was a great idea that granted the picture with hilarious comic relief and allowed the main stars to take comedic pot shots at each other.

      In the third installment, McClane is up to his old antics again but this time he has a hangover.  On the brink of a downward spiral, his opening scene begins as the police is trying to wake him up from a drunken stupor.  Dealing with a separation from his wife and a fresh suspension from the NYPD, McClane has decided to cling to the bottle.  But when a German terrorist named Simon plants bombs across New York, he threatens to detonate them unless McClane plays a game of riddles.  With every correct answer, Simon gives one of the locations of the explosives and a chance to disarm them.  It then becomes a race against time as McClane teams up with Zeus, a bystander who unexpectedly gets caught in the game.

      There’s nothing original about Die Hard with a Vengeance as Hollywood has made countless buddy action films.  But it felt right because the series needed to head off in another direction.  Despite these changes, McClane’s character is still true to the original as he does what he does best which is improvising.  Also, he still plays a mental game of wits with the villian who is just as diabolical as ever.  Jeremy Irons does a great job as Simon.  More devious with the way he messes with McClane’s head, he’s the complete opposite from the all work no play Colonel Stuart from the last film.

      The primary Die Hard not to focus on one location, this movie definitely introduced a bunch of firsts for the series.  It was the first one to show McClane actually working in his own city and the first not to have a family member in distress.  Therefore, McClane concentrates solely on getting the bad guys with the police actually supporting him.  Unfortunately, it’s also the first Die Hard where the situations become questionable as we see McClane surfing on top of a big rig in a tunnel overflowing with water.  But the twists keep it interesting as the true identity of the villain and his intentions are closely guarded until the later parts of the film.

Die Hard

      There’s a great scene in this film where McClane drags his body into a bathroom.  Bleeding profusely, he had to dodge gunfire by sprinting across a room full of broken glass in his bare feet.  Talking on a police scanner with Sgt. Powell, an officer he never met in person, he tells him to deliver a heartfelt message to his wife as he’s pulling out shards of glass from the bottom of his soles.

      Die Hard is one of those rare gems that’s often mimicked but never duplicated.  An intellectual and thoughtful action movie starring that guy from Moonlighting, it was well paced, well scripted and incredibly well acted.

      It’s plot centers around New York cop John McClane traveling to his wife’s corporate Christmas party in Los Angeles at a luxury office tower called Nakatomi Plaza.  While freshening up in one of the suites, he hears gunfire as terrorists seize control of the building.  The leader Hans Gruber, meticulously played by Alan Rickman, has started an intricate plan to retrieve millions of dollars in bearer bonds from the company’s vault.  With the hostages in the building including his wife cut off from any outside help, McClane takes matters into his own hands and attempts to take down the terrorists.

      In a time where most action movies featured a muscle bound super warrior that takes down bad guys with impunity, Die Hard was a great distraction from the norm.  Here the protagonist is featured as an everyday man with spousal issues attempting to keep his family together.  He just happened to be thrown into chaotic circumstances.  A contradiction to the action heroes that dominated cinema at that time.  McClane gets scared, frustrated and desperate when trying to survive each situation.  He feels every injury received as he goes through the movie being battered and broken. This adds an interesting feeling of suspense for the audience since we never quite know if he’s going to make it.  It was an unexpected and welcome change to the genre at the time and it became the formula that all action films have tried to duplicate since.

      With 25 years of kicking ass, McClane is surprisingly spry for his age and as A Good Day to Die Hard nears it’s release, it’s been a lot of fun taking a look at the films that preceded it. Next, well get to see him take out terrorists with his son Jack.  As this will be the first Die Hard to be shot in a different country, it will give them a chance to introduce Russia to their unique barrage of one liners and over the top stunts.  Also, the latest installment brings back the R rating hopefully allowing McClane to finish his “Yippie Ki Yay” line before the final bullet is shot.